7QOP
Seven Questions with a Old Professional
Who: Dr. San Guinary
What: Local Character
Learn more at: www.DrSanGuinary.org and Facebook: San Guinary
Zombie Walk and “Rave to the Grave” Celebration Saturday, Oct. 15 Downtown Benson, 2 p.m.-2 a.m. zombiewalkomaha.com
1. Where were you born?
I was born during the early 1800s in a small Carpathian Mountain village, in what was then Transylvania. My father sold budget scientific equipment to castle owners and my mother brokered paranormal insurance to gypsies. But for all practical purposes, it was in 1971 on KMTV’s Creature Feature late night spook show.
2. Did you grow up in Omaha?
No. I grew up in a village that was famous for making authentic full size replicas of Vlad Dracula’s impalement stakes. Living there was more fun than getting poked in the eye with a stick, which obviously happened quite often. My friends and I would go werewolf shaving, garlicing vampires in June and zombie tipping. Kids don’t know what they’re missing these days.
3. Where did you attend high school and college?
I schooled in Europe, and had an interest in pseudo-science, chiro-quacktic biology and polka music. As a student, I was kicked out of medical universities in Vienna, Berlin, Paris and London. I was ahead of my time in self-practiced microsurgery, faulty medical electronics and illegal back alley polka parties, which made me quite the dandy with the ladies back then. I then made the jump to New York City in 1887 where I purchased, I mean earned, my medical degree from Tonsillectomy Tech.
4. When did you move to Omaha?
After an unfortunate NYC polka accident that left several people dead and/or missing, I quickly relocated to Omaha around 1888, where I landed a position with a pharmaceutical company. Within their rudimentary “Old West” labs, I created Mr. Fenniwick’s Miracle Elixir, Dr. Brannigan’s Snake Tonic & Rifle Polish and Mrs. Fudderstein’s Consumption Cure-All & Relaxation Beverage. I created a cure for cancer in 1901, but lost my notes and left hand in a lab explosion. I also created a cure for polio in 1911, but lost those notes and my other hand in a lab explosion as well. I won’t get into the other explosions and missing body parts, but I have managed to find and reattach suitable replacements over the years. I was a poor hobbyist in gene splicing, and dumped my failed creations across the United States. I am probably to blame for lake monsters, Bigfoot and that pesky Chupacabra. I held on to Igor though… he plays a mean forth at a bridge game.
5. When did you become Dr. San Guinary?
Due to my great scientific expertise and knowledge of all things strange and creepy, I became Dr. San Guinary in 1971, accepting the Creature Feature horror host role at KMTV. Being a bit green in complexion, covered in blood and masquerading by day as mild mannered KMTV director John Jones, I provided Omaha a dose of hummm-dinger horror movies and laughs, which is always the best medicine. I also became involved with utilizing my personality for charity work in the area, primarily raising funds and helping folks become aware of the many charitable needs in Omaha.
6. What is your favorite part of your job?
I very much enjoy raising funds for local charities, including the Siena Francis House, Lydia House and helping with blood drives for the Omaha Chapter of the American Red Cross. I enjoy making folks aware of the responsibility of being involved within their community, and how easy it is to become involved with something that will make a difference. Food banks, blood banks, medical and social charities have all taken hard hits with the economy. Every effort, regardless of how small, is always a blessing.
7. October is busy time for you, what are you working on for this month?
I am helping to raise funds this month for the Siena Francis House, through my own collection efforts and especially with The Omaha Zombie Walk, on October 15th in Benson! I also have several food drives for the Food Bank for the Heartland, and will be collecting toys & cash for Lydia House running November through December. Have Fishbowl, will travel!
9. What is your favorite aspect of living in Omaha?
Meeting friends of John Jones (my original incarnation) and the kids from the 1970s and ‘80s who grew up with Doc and now have become involved with the efforts I support. This is their time as adults to step up to the plate and teach their kids (and others) by example- donating their time, money or (my particular favorite) blood!
10. How long does it take you to put on your make-up for events?
Lady, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
11. If you could have lunch with one person, alive or dead, who would it be?
I always wanted to have pi with Einstein, but would settle for a buffet with the Donner Party. Dead people are always a cheap lunch outing, though I usually get dumpster-side seating at the fancier joints and have to share with the resident wino in the alley.
12. What can people expect at your Zombikini Contest at the Zombie Walk?
This little fundraising creation of mine has it all. Zombies AND bikinis, not to mention an interesting undead talent show as well. Zombie girls are a little rough to oogle, but can be entertaining in one minute talent increments. They do have very big hearts to come out and strut their stuff. (I am on hand to reattach falling limbs). Spectators vote for their favorite contestant with cash, which brings in a quick pot for the charity during the evening event.
13. What’s on your favorite t-shirt?
Looking inside my lab coat, I’d say a combination of green greasepaint, fake blood, coffee stains, 99% persperation and 1% Igor hair. I don’t get to the laundomat much.